WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
