I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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