So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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