Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
A+ Viking dick
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize