I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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