he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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