Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
