I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
