you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize