you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
