She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
