Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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