About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She's the barista slut.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
