4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
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