I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i will never coherently bang her
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
