I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You smell like stripper and shame
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
