He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
