why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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