and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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