***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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