On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
