I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
