either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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