I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
