This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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