just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
