She said her name was "party"
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
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Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize