another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize