I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
