Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
