remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize