I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
