I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
