When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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