Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there was a trapeze. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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