Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
