That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
