i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
