There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
