Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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(518): View more from New York

Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.

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(631): View more from New York

I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!

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(518): View more from New York

Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol

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(256): View more from Alabama

like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..

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