: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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