Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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