Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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