Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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