Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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