I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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