Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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