i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
