How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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