I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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