I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
