is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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