Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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