Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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