OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
