It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
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i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I touched a dick in church today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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