We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
