So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize