Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Too much gin, very little bucket
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
