But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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