I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
