i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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