Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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