Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize